A very clearly illustrated dvd that showed us what we were doing and what we should be doing. It helped us rethink our consequences and we saw a very effective turn in our daughters behavior.
This DVD was very helpful for me when I purchased the Total Transformation program. I helped me to understand what it truly means to give consequences instead of punishment. It brought a whole new light to how I handled my sons' behavior. I would recommend this to parents.
I highly recommend this program to everyone who is struggling on any level with raising children. society these days puts a lot of obstacles in the way of raising happy, kind, well adjusted kids. The stress on kids and teens to grow up faster and 'keep up' with their friends makes it difficult for parents to set limits. This program gives real words and actions to help parents set and reinforce limits and consequences and then puts the responsibility back on the kkids to meet these goals and expectations.
I have a 4 year old who is very difficult to communicate she refuses to co-operate and when told or asked to do something she dislike she refuses to move unless with a threat. It is getting betteron lesson #5
This was a most valuable and helpful program.
It affirms the adult and restores dignity to the caregiver. so that respect and real concern can be understood by the child. It is a most effective program.I would highly recommend it.
I have learned over the last 27 years of raising three children and being an educator and counselor, it's a challenge to find what works. Everyone under the sun has advice and none of it seems to help you. Well! Guess What. James Lehman can do it with his very clear script for parents to follow. He guides you through real life examples and provides acted out role plays to show what we do wrong and then how to do it right. The kids are realistic, especially the teen girl with attitude you'll recognize. I am sharing this in my resources for parents list, and say "If you get it you won't regret it".
The Complete Guide To Consequences DVD and book were very helpful in so many ways. It show's to to react to negative comments, how to remain calm, how to take a few minutes to think about the consequences and measures that need to be taken along with coaching the child into better behavior versus arguing over nonessentials and it is so great just to review as a reminder which I know I need and have already done.
Peggy
I have to tell you, I was greatly impressed with the DVD series. The How-To-Program gave me the confidence and Peace I needed in order to learn how to deal with unruly children, teens and adults. I have been surprised at the great results and insights that the program has afforded me by using it. Most every piece of advice given and acted out in the DVD series for the parent to learn was so informative to me, since I had no healthy parenting in my upbringing. I was dumbfounded at how simplistic these techniques, rules of thumb and methods were. But, amazed at how much they work with people who are unruly, ill-tempered, abusive and so on. There was such a wide range of scenarios that were so liberating in learning how to do this. In using them, I had greater confidence AND HOPE above all. My depression started to dwindle away as I was able to better deal with the very people I am suppose to and wanting to love, my family members. Our 11 year old granddaughter, who has special needs is much more cooperative and is more secure because the boundaries are much more clearer to her. I am more consistent with consequences and I find I am happier with myself for making the deliberate effort to lay out the choices clearly for her, leaving her no wiggle room to make excuses for her behavior. I am no longer manipulated and guilted into backing down. She knows now that "I mean what I say (lovingly and controlled) and I say what I mean. And no more. I feel it is even a marriage support program, as well. All of the petty wearing-me-out talk is diminished due to reflecting and utilizing all of the different tools for each unique situation we find ourselves in. Teens can no longer pit one parent against the other causing greater division in the home. I am so thankful that the program was built to be so blatantly honest with the combative behaviors our teens display because that reality really hit home. The "mirroring of upset adult parents" was an eye opener as to how damaging those behaviors were fueling the teen's reactive attitudes. I am no longer on the defensive and am able to find fair solutions and consequences. And I am more readily to listen and do not feel threatened. Thank you for the peace that has been brought back to my home. I also, have had greater understanding of how I react since finding out, through "your program" that I have ADHD and ADD myself. I had always suspected it, however never knew where or how to get tested for it and the very thought of doing that seemed undaunting to me. Thank you for helping people like me make sense of the craziness we have endured. My ONLY WISH is that we had heard about you 30 years ago when we first started raising our children. We are now learning how to break unhealthy parenting patterns through this program and we see a new dawn emerging by passing these skills onto our adult children and our soon-to-be ten grandchildren.
This is a great program. The role plays are very helpful. The only reason I didn't give it 5 stars is that I wish there were more role plays and more exact phrases and sentences I could use. The one provided are very helpful.
It is helping me make consequence valuable instead of punishment. A HUGE difference and one worth learning if you plan on parenting correctly. This along with the Total Transformation Program is a good combo.
Thank you for creating this DVD/tool that has helped me understand how to effectively communicate accountability and consequences with my child. Armed now with a better understanding of where to draw the lines and what is at stake from a parent and child perspective, our home is becoming less of a battle field and more of a place where mutual respect and love is cultivated.
This program has changed my family's lives. Within a few weeks, my child was responding positively to the advice from this program. My child's self-esteem has improved so much and his grades are getting better, too. If I could describe this program in one word, it would be "life-changing! Thank you do much for sharing it with us!
Whenever I had given consequences to my daughter in the past, most often she would not follow through, especially when it was a grounding. The way the video talks about consequences makes it clear and task oriented rather than time oriented because in doing the task, or stopping themselves from doing something for a period of time, gives the child/teen practice to do things differently and so parents can become more effective.
The Consequences Program by Legacy is real, affordable, and effective. The program helped my daughter to gain cognitive moral development and emotional intelligence. For instance, yesterday she threw a tantrum and hurt my feelings. Today she presented me with a written sorry note that was heart felt and heart warming. She asked for my forgiveness and wrote a very thoughtful analysis of what physiological change triggered her behavior, that she was was sorry and designed a plan that involved second order critical thinking and even second and third order consequences. Thank you very much for the jewel of the program. It restored peace at home.
I WAS TRYING TO IMPLEMENT THE STRATEGY BUT STILL MY SON IS RUDE TO US WHEN HE IS IN HIS BAD MOOD.STILL DO NOT KNOW HOW MAKE HIM MORE ACCSEPTING TO THE POLICY OF TRANSFORMATION
The Complete Guide to Consequences has really helped me and my Husband with our Grand Daughter who is 11 years old and lives with us. She came from a home that had no rules and was aloud to run a muck all the time. After viewing this how-to video program everything is now changed for the best. This really helped us as Parents and has really helped our Grand Daughter understand that if you break a rule, there are consequences no matter what.
I Have Twin 6 year old Boys. My main struggles with them were constant fighting between them & getting them to bed without 100 excuses to come out. this was a 2 hour battle every night. When I got the program, I made up my menu of consequences, rewards, made chore charts & a chart of house rules & taped the chore charts to their bedroom doors, the house rules & Reward chart I posted up on the Kitchen wall so the always haved access to them to go over & a goal to work towards. The very 1st day I used this program I was floored. They went right to bed with no problems, no coming out with excuses, nothing. The fighting has drastically slowed up. I only had 1 fight. I gave the 1 twin who started it a consequence, which was just 5 minutes in the corner & the rest of the day no more fights. I cant thank James & his staff enough for creating this program. It has made our home a more calmer, quiter, structured & loving place. Not to mention saving our sanity lol. Thanks so much.
For those of us with limited time (and honestly that is all parents of teens), this tool is invaluable as it pinpoints some of the common battles between parents. The video program quickly and simply shows why our typical reactions to certain situations don't work, and how by taking a new approach to our teens we can turn around and resolve the situation. In my home, there is now less shouting and confrontation as my teens know with certainty what the consequences are for certain behaviour. Thanks for restoring the peace.
We were able to implement several items from this DVD after watching it. The role plays were well played, and actually more low key than what we as parents experience. We will be preparing a schedule of consequences to assist us while remembering that the goal is not punishment, but learning. How can we break the pattern, and change the behavior. The one challenge not addressed is how to deal with a kid who (when you disengage) proceeds to throw things and "act out", slam doors, punch holes in the wall etc. Still working on that one. This by no means takes away from the content of the DVD. Well done.
Its very easy to get angry when your child doesnt respond how you want them to, but disconnecting from the situation has helped tremendously. Instead of taking things personally when my kids say "but mom I just wanna do this first" I have learned to speak in a way that leaves no question what is expected. It has helped me use less body language that shows frustration when instructing them to do a task. Thank you so much for this wonderful insight.
This product was amazing. My child was very defiant before and now is more compliant. She has learned to control her agression and is more like a normal child.
I learned consistency and lots of helpful ways to deal with my child's negative behaviors.
My name is Kim L.. I have 4 children 3 boys and 1 girl my 12 year old son has some problems paying attention he has been evaluated at school and they say he need a smaller class setting more one on one time with the teacher ok I saw the ad on tv and I called and received the program and read through it with my husband and followed what the books and dvd told us what to do and I must admit I see a little change it not only helps with your kids it helps you to change and look at things differently I recommend this program to any parent who are having problems with their children try some of the activities and see how well they work for you and your family.
I love this Cd..watched it with my kids too.They found the role plays "comical" but I know that they were identifying with them and realizing that "the jig is up!" Very helpful and we are seeing changes and improvements with behavior and our ability to deal with situations in a much calmer way.
I have a 16 year old son and since I've purchased the program we have come to realize that the yelling from me doesn't amount to anything and now I can see I've wasted my energy on something that obviously didn't get through to my son. Now we have set boundaries and make sure that he knows that it is his responsibility to do his school work and chores then after he can go to his friends etc...and if he doesn't come back at a set time we work it out without the need for yelling. It truly made a great change for the whole family. The house is a happier place to be and I feel that we are getting our son back.
Thanks
